Sixteen

I "got saved" at five at my grandmother's church camp up in New York. But I've always grown up in a Christian home. My being Christian was mostly to please my parents, but when ever I talked about god around my mother she seemed to not care, as though I couldn't possibly understand Him. I guess that really discouraged me the most and up until the seventh grade I floated spiritually.

My manners were polished and I had good taste but that was because of the standards we had set at home. God really wasn't in me. In seventh grade I ran away from school but was caught before the day was over. I now had a finger print chart and a "rap sheet" but no arrest, my parents dropped the charges.

The depression I had been under lifted and I thought God was there but He wasn't. Despite the pain I had caused I ran away again in ninth grade. It was a school field trip and I just kind of ditched the group. I was picked up by the police in the stairwell of a Holiday Inn for trespassing. It was so cold out, I had to find some place to sleep. They took me to the police station, but again, no arrest. My parents dropped the charges.

That was when I found out that my brother, who had also been on the trip, had searched for me for 2 hours holding up the bus and making everyone late home. My sister had been devastated, crying all night. When my father found out, he stalked out of the house, got in the van and went off searching the entire area we were in, until 5 am.

My mother stayed at home waiting by the phone. They were all angry at me, and for good reason. It was the first time that I knew what being alone was like. Cold, fear, no walls surrounding me. And my family would certainly never forgive me this time. The second time.

My sophomore year was horrible but I rededicated my life to Christ.

My latest struggle is staying on top. About a week before I left for this tour, my mother left a note on my father's pillow that said she was leaving him. She is to marry another man next year and if you knew my parents this would seem impossible. However, it's happening.

God, however, had this trip in His will and whatever He has planned I want to happen.

Written by a sixteen-year-old in California for the first time and presented to total strangers.

Selfish

"Ok, so there's a guy out behind the watershed, I'm sure I saw someone sneaking around the barn and I could hear somebody hiding in the empty silo."

"How much time do we have left?"

"Half an hour."

"Crap."

"My thoughts exactly."

"Ok, how are we going to do this?"

A sigh. "Uh.."

Crickets in the silence that followed took over the dialogue.

"Ok, what about this? Somebody is in charge of locking up the silo, do that then get the heck out."

"I can do that."

"Ok, Bobby, make it tight. Somebody else...two somebody elses take out the guy at the barn and secure that position."

"Yeah, we got that, Wyatt."

A nod. "Alright." A deep, steeling breath. "The rest of you, with me. Come on."

They moved. One dark body going north, two going northeast and four going northwest. The patch of hay they had just occupied glistened in the moonlight. One misstep could be heard, then silence.

Bobby crept up to the silo. His eyes flickered back and forth between the concrete pillar, the open space to his left and the shelter of the barn to his right. Nothing moved. He listened for breath, for shifting. As soon as his quarry was confirmed he attacked. Flying through the jagged hole in the wall. The hardest part of his appendage came down on the base of the neck. His quarry fell without a sound.

The position his enemy had once held was now his. Bobby looked it over, pleased with the perspective it gave him of field. But it was indefensible. There were too many blind spots. He could not use the silo. Slicing into his enemy he ate the heart while it was still warm, then left the carcass and disappeared into the darkness of the shadowy yard.

Wyatt led his small group towards the goal. Moving quickly and silently through t he shadows holding, then moving again. His head came up, immediately alarming those with him and halting their movement. He pointed to his left and right spreading out his team. As they settled, nodding their readiness to him he focused once again on the area. Listening with the intent of a wild animal desperate for the taste of fresh meat.

All was quiet.

He motioned that they move in, as one, eyes open and ready for anything. The group rose, a solid fence of bodies and moved forward, each step a fortifying promise of victory.
Passing through the dangerous and open field as one, strong willed hard-ass unit.

A sound, like a bullet, broke through them. A body flew in taking down one of their own and the ground was suddenly thrashing, growling and moaning. They could smell blood, fresh in the air.

The noise rose, Wyatt's group joining in the fight.

Then the farmer came from the kitchen door. Freedom, food, warmth suddenly made available. Wyatt gave a warning howl to his mates then scampered through the open door without a second thought.

Cats are, after all, very selfish creatures.

High School Social Studies Notes

"That gun doesn't give you power, Charlie. All you're doing is driving yourself into a deeper hole. If you use it you're only hurting yourself."

"Not if you let me go..."

"That's not going to happen, Charlie and you know it. We can't let you outta here."

"Yes, you can! I'm gonna shoot if you don't."

"So shoot! You're not getting out, Charlie. There's no way."

"Shut up! Shut up, just shut the hell up! Everybody back off."

No one's listening to you, Charlie. You're just a joke with that gun in your hands. I'ts not giving you any control."

"SHUT UP!"

"Listen to me, Charlie! If you put that gun down now, before you hurt anybody else you'll buy yourself fewer years."

"I'm not going to-"

"You ARE, Charlie. You've crossed the line! You are gonna serve time and A LOT of it if you don't put the gun down now!"

He was scared, even more so than before now, and it was blatantly obvious. Something had just clicked in his brain and the truth of my words had finally sunk in.

"Put it down." I said softly and finally...

...he did.